"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"

"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"

"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"

"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."

"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"

(via infelicific)

(via pouty-lips-round-hips)

College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”


A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”

(via unpredictable123)



One of the best scenes of Malcolm in the Middle ever.

that fucking kid took one for the team

(via c0gnitive-dissonance)


Funniest thing I’ve seen on Tumblr all week. 

(Source: notthedisneyyourelookingfor, via come-as-y0u-were)



cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call


(via c0gnitive-dissonance)

Isaiah Henkel (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

(via come-as-y0u-were)

Don’t ever feel bad for making a decision that upsets other people. You are not responsible for their happiness. You are responsible for your happiness.

Kia has a new TV ad, the tagline for which says “Remember that girl you didn’t notice in high school? We’re kinda like that.” Hey, remember that car company that made those piece of shit cars when you were in high school? Kia is kinda like that.

(Source: inothernews, via fourdoor350z)






I had a good laugh tonight.

This makes my heart hurt.

The stupidity of humanity sometimes astounds me

Sweet merciful fuck.

May God have mercy on their pathetic, stupid souls…

(Source: best-of-memes, via unpredictable123)

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