"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"
"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"
"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"
"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."
"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"
College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”
A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”
One of the best scenes of Malcolm in the Middle ever.
that fucking kid took one for the team
Funniest thing I’ve seen on Tumblr all week.
cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
Don’t ever feel bad for making a decision that upsets other people. You are not responsible for their happiness. You are responsible for your happiness.
I had a good laugh tonight.
This makes my heart hurt.
The stupidity of humanity sometimes astounds meSweet merciful fuck.medic278
May God have mercy on their pathetic, stupid souls…
Posts that make me question my life part 2